Aftershock

So I a made the commitment, I'm going to therapy. It wasn't that I knew I didn't need help, it was a matter of a good time, but really, is there ever a "good time"? I guess when you feel like you can't breathe and your emotions are all over the place it's a good time.

So I sit here at my computer writing about this because I feel good when I write. I love to write and always have loved to write. I hope that by somehow sharing what I am going through it helps heal me and settles down some of the chaos floating around in my head. :)

I was talking to my mother the other day and she mentioned that what I was going through is like an aftershock of a large earthquake. Here we had this tremendous, life-altering event nearly 8 months ago and now that the main earthquake or crisis has past the aftershocks of that event are now coming and I think I am safe to say there will be more to come.

The current aftershock I am experiencing feels like I'm hyperventilating, can't breathe, can't predict or imagine the world in all it's rosy colors, just the unknown in Jaimee's situation grips me with fear. In some ways this aftershock hurts more than the event itself because I was so numb for so long. Everything was such a blur and so clear at the same time. All I knew was that I had to keep my head up, I had to keep going, I had to keep it all together. Now that the numbness is wearing off, the pain seems to be surfacing or resurfacing; the unraveling is happening. All may appear rosy but there are those moments. You know those moments when you just simply cannot control the heartache, the fear, the tears, the panic and so much more. And yet, Jaimee is the best part of this entire experience. She is not deterred, but determined. She in not doubtful, but tenacious. She is a shinning light to everyone around her. This experience however, is mine. It is unique to me as Jaimee's recovery is unique to her. These aftershocks are what I have to work out and somehow find the resolve to be as my sweet daughter naturally is, steadfast, joyful and determined to recover.

Today and I am thankful for this experience. Today I see it as an opportunity to be introspective, to dig a little deeper, to define my own character. I look forward to the things I will be learning and hope to continue sharing my personal insights.

Mardee

Exciting news...

The last couple of weeks have been so EXCITING! Jaimee has made so much improvement it blows us away. Since yesterday she has been talking, actually repeating what she hears others say in a conversation not just the words we try to get her to say. It's so unbelievable, I wish I could just harness the enthusiasm we feel over it all-daily improvement-it's incredible! This seemed to happen the first time she was sick in September, I was so worried she would be missing too much therapy but when she isn't using her large motor skills she seems to have a huge vocabulary increase. Whatever way it comes we are so grateful and blessed to watch this happen. Here are some of her new "tricks" as we call it: Jaimee can walk over 100 feet unassisted. She can say Momma, Dadda, Mom, Dad, pee-pee, Baba, 1-10 numbers but four is her favorite as she shows us all the time and also asks us to ask her how old she is where she very enthusiastically says "Four" and holds up her 4 little fingers with her thumb back (the thumb she use to very cutely hold back with her other hand because she couldn't get her thumb to work the way she wanted it to). She can say baby, night-night, phone, no, na, yeah, ya, She can say Nay for Nathan and Beh for Ben and J.D. she says pretty well too. The greatest one is she can say her NAME! She can complete sentences. She can tell you how old she will be on her next birthday (no one said the answer she did it on her own). It's so great to hear her talking, our baby is actually talking and walking after being awake for 7 months! Two Sundays ago we arrived late to church and Jeff, Jaimee and I sat on the couch in the foyer. She stood up on her own and walked down the hallway, we just sat there and watched. We didn't spot her, we didn't coddle her, we just looked at eachother and cried. Her brothers on the other hand were nervous mother hens trying to protect her while we just encouraged them to let her be. She can turn around, walk backwards, she has an infectious laugh, especially when she is trying to be contradictory. Yes, the old Jaimee is still there, always teasing, contradictory, a little she-devil, yep, she's all in there all right! She has been unusually sick a lot since Sept. She has been sick again all week and now Nathan is too! We just can't seem to shake it. Ben and J.D. seem to be hanging in there despite a little sniffle cold for J.D. this past week. Boy News- Ben and Nathan are both doing well at Knolls Elementary. We like their teachers and see steady progress in both of them and they seem to be happy and thriving in their new setting. The latest news is that J.D. finished the testing with the district and qualified for a special ed class with other kids who struggle with learning disabilities and he is doing just great! Not sure what the educational impact for him will be this year but the "Coolest" kid at his school seemed to be quite threatened by J.D.'s good looks and wanted him to know on his first day that he was unquestionably the coolest kid and he "got all the girls" at Santa Susana Elementary! (his friends on the otherhand protested those statements). Ahh, the joys of pre-pubescence! Anyone who knows J.D. knows he couldn't care less about the girls (that he'll admit to anyway). Although his brother Ben gave him some pretty keen advice, he told J.D. to tell that kid that, "He can keep the girls, and you'll keep the Cool!" LOL!

All in all, things seem to be settling a bit, still not unpacked and still always lots to do but we our managing like the rest. We are blessed to have our long time babysitter Janelle with us still watching Jaimee 2-3 days a week to give me a break. We all love her visits. And things seem to finally be turning around at work for Jeff. He's getting new customers and more orders from the regular ones so we are encouraged for a better year in 2010. I'm sure I am missing so many details but hopefully I'll have more to share soon. We most certainly know that the Lord loves us. He has shown it time and time again this year in the many ways he has blessed us. Enjoy the holidays, there truly is so much to be thankful for! We can't tell you how thrilled we are to have our Jaimee. To have been so close to losing her was and is so devasting but to see her get dressed up as a cow girl for Halloween and practically run up on stage for the children's costume parade, I had to hold back the floodgates of tears that she was even THERE, able to stand up, walk up those stairs and walk around the stage only holding on to one finger of mine-it was a living miracle! To see her speaking now, teasing, making us laugh, Jeff and I, our boys, we just can't help but smile and be thankful to have her in our family. I remember leaning over her body giving her CPR and thinking "we can't lose her, her brothers can't lose their sister", she literally lights up our life! The gratitude we reflect on at this time of year, the thankfulness that we feel to still be allowed to have her with us, it just doesn't quite cut it. Happy Thanksgiving, Mardee, Jeff and the kids

Mocha Jessop 12-15-95 to 9-22-09 R.I.P.

Six months ago today, what I fondly refer to as Black Tuesday, was the most difficult day of my life and I'll speak for Jeff as well that he too feels the same. Today was an equally difficult day in that we lost our wonderful dog Mocha. After nearly 14 years together we are deeply saddened by the loss. She was the greatest dog, a fierce protector, a loving pet, a loyal family member-one of our greatest joys. She howled and moaned the day we brought Jaimee home from the hospital, mourning all that had happened and showing us how much she had missed her buddy Jaimee. She faithfully laid under Jaimee's feet each day as she recovered.

When Mocha was a young pup she use to climb the fences like a cat-an odd sight for such a large dog. For a time when we lived in Simi she would prowl the Knolls ever night with her brother Max coming home exhausted in the wee hours of the morning-that party girl! She would sense danger and protect "her babies" (the kids). She was everybody's friend and proved it by every unwanted lick and clinging hair she left behind. She would out-smart the dog catcher, she would anxiously wait at the door for Jeff's arrival each day from work, she would crawl into bed with me and Jeff and sit on our laps like she was a 15 lb. dog instead of a 45 lb dog. She loved all adults and all children that passed her way whether they wanted her to or not. :)

As in all forms of life there is a day when death awaits for no one-today was that day. Mocha had shown us it was coming. She had lost her sight and taste in the last 2 weeks as well as she had distanced herself from the family by only wanting to be outdoors and sleeping most of the days and nights away. We were happy though to see her enjoying the big backyard at our new house for the last 5 weeks.

I don't know how much pain she was in when I found her having a seizure in the backyard today, but Jeff was good to ask the Vet to give her something to ease her comfort while we made the sad drive to the county shelter to have her put down. She never had to be put down though, she quietly and peacefully died at the shelter in Jeff's arms in the parking lot. Even in death she truly was a beautiful, kind old dog that loved life and loved us.

We'll miss you my dear, sweet Mocha

Lessons from Matthew

I've always been a person who didn't like to ask for help-for myself that is. It's a difficult thing to be vulnerable to others, to accept generosity in all its forms.  I have been thinking about this for months.  Jeff and I have talked about how much in awe we are of the kindness of so many. You would expect your family and friends to shoulder a burden or two on occasion but strangers from all over is quite another thing.  Its perplexing and yet humbling the sheer beauty in humanity.  

A couple of years ago we turned off the TV in our house and turned on conversation and reading.  The nice thing about doing that was 1. To cut the TV addiction of my family, 2. To tune out the garbage on TV and 3. To read online or watch video highlights of the most important news we wanted to know.  We no longer wanted to be the receptacle of so much filth pouring into our home, our minds and our attitudes.  After all, we do have a choice, right?  Much of what we saw was horrible, negative, and sometimes disgusting "news".  Well, what I think is news worthy are all the hundreds of people who have shown such amazing acts of kindness to our family.  It's not just kindness or goodness it's godliness- the light of Christ that has been blanketed over our family.  Matthew 25:35-36, 40 "For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in.  Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison: and ye came unto me. Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."  We were hungry and thirsty, without clean clothes or basic needs all of which was brought to us at will at the hospitals we stayed.  We were sick with grief and in a prison so to speak of the most immense pain and anxiety over what life would hold for our daughter, our family, not to mention whether or not she would even survive the first week.  Church family came to mow our lawn and clean our house.  Friends took care of our pets and wrote us letters.  They and those we didn't know sent cards and gifts, food and money.  Friends and strangers alike have come together to organize one fundraiser after another. Donations, whether of clothes for the garage sale or monetary came from all over.  The garage sale alone did not just bless our family it blessed the families of those who participated and those who with little money cried because they needed inexpensive furnishings for their kids as they were starting life over.  The goodness of God was seen and felt everywhere at every turn.  We truly were a stranger to thousands who prayed for our family, who prayed for Jaimee to survive-we were a stranger and taken in by your hearts and minds wrapping your love around our fragile family. Your strength made us strong:  Your faith buoyed our own:  Your encouragement helped us put one foot in front of the other.  What would this world be like if we didn't have one another?  Our Father in Heaven is such a loving God to give each of us so much purpose and meaning in each others lives.  How grateful we are for the knowledge that we are all brothers and sisters in a much larger plan.  

At Northridge hospital there was a little boy from Palmdale who was next door to Jaimee's room, his name was Matthew.  I never met him but he impacted our lives nevertheless.  His family arrived a couple days before ours.  He drowned in the backyard of his grandparents pool and lay there severely injured.  We came to know the family really well as families do in these situations while minutes and hours go by day in day out all waiting for some kind of hope.  In the process of waiting they found out we were Mormon and asked for a Priesthood blessing for Matthew.  I think it was the third day we were there and still in all our grief and not knowing what would happen to Jaimee we found ourselves praying for Matthew, comforting his family, having opportunity to serve their family with a blessing, it was ironic and wonderful at the same time; strangers brought together under the most difficult of circumstances supporting each other and hoping for the best outcome.  Sadly, Matthew died and yet in all their grief while Jaimee was for the first time showing improvement, they reached out to us with a loving embrace and encouraged us and said they would keep praying for Jaimee-such kindness and unselfishness after having loss little Matty.  Nothing can describe what that was like except that our families will always share that experience.  Thank you Matty for letting us be there for your family and for them being there for us.

What are the lessons in life we are suppose to learn?  I often ponder this question.  What is it that God wants me to learn?  How can I make His purposes manifest in my life?  I am still working on it, hoping for the clarity to come when its needed and that I honor my Heavenly Father in the process by being grateful for the experiences along the way.  I'll let you know how it goes...

Mardee

Also Check Out The Bird's Blog...

Forgot to mention all that happened in June!  My good friends the Bird's and the Jenk's held a fantastically successful garage sale for Jaimee's medical expenses that aren't covered by Kaiser.  Due to the success of that we are already starting to purchase things for Jaimee to keep her comfortable, safe and always re-learning!  Please go to the Bird's blog on the left of the screen to see the pictures. All the amazing donations took up three homes.  People kept coming all day non-stop!  thanks to all our good friends who gave donations to the garage sale and monetary ones to Jaimee.  We love you all!  Thanks to all the workers who worked all night the day before, the boys who camped out guarding the goods and all those who stayed to work on June 13th.  You all did an amazing job.  Special thanks to Michelle for once again doing what other won't-you are a great friend!  Because of you we will be able to get Jaimee some very needed items to help her continue to progress and to help her at every stage in her growth as she gets closer and closer to walking again.  Love you guys!!!!

Mardee and Jeff

I am Mother hear me ROAR!!!!

Ok, so the title of this post is a little self indulgent but hear me out...

Nine weeks ago we came home from the hospital exhausted and fed up with our experience at Kaiser in Hollywood.  I was done.  I had had it with the lack of good care and lack of a coordinated effort to help my daughter.  She was my daughter after all, I could get up with her and feed her in the middle of the night if she needed it, couldn't I?  I could bath her and take care of her, she was and always will be my little baby, right?  Knowing that we would have help from therapists and in home health care, dietitian and speech therapy and the list goes on.  We would be fine!

Low and behold after almost a week at home the phone hadn't rang from all those promised services.  Where was everyone?  As it turned out our discharge paperwork was never sent out of the hospital.  No one knew we even existed.  Shortly thereafter ensued the plethora of therapies, doctor visits, etc. all but the much needed speech therapy and dietitian intervention.  Jaimee had been receiving daily therapy and review of her diet in the hospital.  She did after all pass the swallow test and was sent home on a pured diet.  Well after 8 weeks, it finally took filing a formal complaint with Kaiser to get anyones attention.  That along with the 5 page letter I sent regarding our actual stay at Kaiser (perhaps I'll share that another time).

So we went for the speech therapy evaluation about a week ago and the therapist didn't think she needed her feeding tube any longer (G tube).  So a new swallow test was ordered for mid July.  My nurse and I decided that that just wasn't good enough.  We had been waiting weeks for help.  I alone had been pushing Jaimee to see how much she would let me ween her off the G tube.  Each week she ate a little better, her tastes came back, her jaws got stronger and as of last week I had given her only one feeding in the G tube (She started with 5 a day the amount needed to sustain her daily caloric intake).

It wasn't easy, feeding Jaimee in the beginning was painful-it took literally hours to get through one meal of 250 calories so I had to split up that one meal, half in the morning and half at night, each one alone could take an hour.  Eventually she could eat all of her one meal at one setting within 30-45 minutes so onward I continued to ween her and add back in more food.  Today, I am happy to say she is G-tube Free and 100% on solid foods!!!

She finally got that speech therapy appointment, the swallow test was ordered, after two sips of soy milk, two bites of applesauce and one bite of a cookie all with barium I might add, she was considered 150% NORMAL!  No weakness whatsoever!  TRIUMPHANT was all that came to me over and over again.  I had never felt the full effect of that word more than at that moment.  My adrenaline was pumping, tears began to flow, Jaimee and I rejoiced in our success.  We then walked across the street to see her G.I. doctor and out came the tube in one quick snip with the scissors and we were on our way.  I was so happy to share all of this with my cousin Shelby who was visiting from Utah and also with Madi her daughter, it was a great day!

I started this post the day after this event about ten days ago and I can only say there has been even more improvements.  Jaimee can prop herself up on her forearms and then push up on her hands into a sitting position.  She can't stay up for more than a few seconds on her own but she is making consistent improvements each day.  She can not only hold her cup if she drops it she can now find it and pick it up.  She is now saying "AH" and "M".  She is learning to communicate better by nodding her head for yes and side to side for no-the head control is a bit difficult but I see some improvements there too.  She can raise her hands for "up" and when she is hungry she just makes chomping gestures with her mouth which is adorable.  She is also learning to walk better.  Each day we walk her up and down the hallways from one place to another.  She really loves to walk.  She struggles and it will be some time perhaps a year before she gets the hang of it but she is learning to keep her feet flat right now and gaining strength in her legs.  She can stand on flat feet for about a half a minute with little support.  Sitting up is becoming old hat almost.  She can't quite do it all herself but if you hold her ankles or legs on the bed it's a cinch.  She is learning still to keep her legs down when she tries to sit.  She can sit in Jeff's recliner and just hang out watching a movie.  When you look at her you can't see that there's anything wrong with her at all.

Yesterday Jaimee was given her new wheel chair along with a gift of Becky the Par-Olympian friend of Barbie.  She sits in a wheel chair too.  Jaimee seems to be getting use to her new chair and we couldn't be happier to have her up higher than her car seat on the floor-now she sits at the table with us for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  She has a whole new found freedom and much better posture-her chair is even sparkly blue but we might need to put a little girl power into it with a little pink somewhere.  HUGE thanks to the Rice family for the many weeks of letting us borrow their jogging stroller-you are the best!  We love you guys!

Jaimee has made so many great improvements that as of next week she will be discharged from Kaiser In Home Health Care and sent to out patient therapy.  This means progress for her and more driving for Mom but I'm happy to do it.  I want to thank George, Lori Ann and Tammy for doing such an excellent job with Jaimee.  For using their talent and gifts to reach Jaimee, push her and make her work hard for each and every improvement.  George and Lori Ann have withstood all of Jaimee's flailing arms and legs, felt every slice and dice to the body and other tender areas, took every slap and kick to the face and gut without complaint (not much anyway) and just loved her better.  Thanks again to our friends at Kaiser Home Health-you're the best.  Lori Ann, we will keep praying that the doors will open for you to pursue your education and become the Pediatric PT you were born to be!  Tammy you helped me so much with Jaimee and reassured me in all my nursing efforts with her.  George, there's nothing better than having a friend from church show up at my door to be my daughter's therapist it was a joy to have you around-thanks for passing on your "toy-junk" (wink, wink).

We have some special prayer requests as this month will be a pivotal one in which many decisions will need to be made over the next month.  We will be moving to Simi Valley in August and will need a home to rent.  Our one and only working car broke down today and we are trying to find a used car that will fit our 6 person family, Jaimee's wheel chair and our "stuff".  All of the efforts to get the care Jaimee has received so far will all need to be moved to all new Doctors, Nurses, Therapists, etc. etc. and we are praying for an easy and smooth transition as we move her care to Simi Valley/ Woodland Hills Kaiser.  For Jaimee we are praying that strength continues to come to her arms and hands as she learns to sit up on her own and learns to feed herself again.  Thank you all for taking the time and effort to pray on our behalf. WE FEEL IT!!!  We couldn't have felt so sustained otherwise.  Love and blessings to you all and your families.

Mardee

High 5!!!

I know I keep saying the word amazing in just about every post I make but truly this girl of mine amazes me!  There are so many facets to traumatic brain injuries.  You can lose so much and yet if you are young enough you can regain it all back so fast.  Once again she has triumphed!  She has regained all five senses- Hearing, Vision, Touch, Smell and Taste! 

On Thursday evening I had Jaimee on my lap.  I ate a corn chip and noticed she was eye-balling it.  I asked her if she wanted a bite and put the chip in front of her, she leaned forward, opened her mouth and took and tiny bite on the end of the chip-she liked it. Although I had initially thought she had her appetite back, I never considered she had lost those senses since it wasn't ever discussed by the doctors before.  Friday she ate more and she seemed to be more fussy when I cooked meals for the family.  By Saturday she wanted just about anything anyone else was eating.  

After having beans and cheese, chips, crackers, blueberries and raspberries, juice, milk, eggs, and a bunch of other things I knew she was finally demonstrating hunger.  Sunday night sealed the deal.  I popped popcorn and the smell drove her into a frenzy demanding to be a part of the family fun.  We bit off the hard parts of the kernels, fed her the soft popped part and watched as she was left all smiles in a buttery bliss of popcorn. Not too shabby for only having been 11 weeks since the accident.

As of last night she ate chunks of chicken, cantaloupe and squash.  She seems to be eating faster, larger portions which is forcing her to exercise her jaws more to chew.  We can only hope she will be off her feeding tube soon (less than 6 months) so we can get her crawling again.    

For those wanting to continue to know what to pray for I would ask you to focus your prayers on Jaimee's ability to chew and to communicate through words and sign.  The down side of so much improvement comes much frustration in her lack of ability to communicate with us.  Thanks again for all the prayers.

Love,

Mardee 

Happy 4th Birthday Jaimee

This last week we celebrated Jaimee's 4th Birthday on Thursday the 28th of May.  The best news came that morning when I received a phone call from my mom that Jaimee had been granted a new customized wheelchair from the efforts of our patient advocate at United Cerebral Palsy Foundation!! I was instantly in shock and bawling of course.  The interesting thing about this story is that UCP contacted several places including fighting on our behalf with Kaiser for a wheelchair but to no avail.  Thanks to Teri Lantz from UCP, advocating on our behalf, she had a contact that heard Jaimee's story and wanted to help.  We can't see this than anything other than an answer to prayer.  Thank you Mom and Teri for making this happen for Jaimee!! 

In addition to that great news, a few days earlier we had a surprise visit from Sheriff Janice Banks the Sheriff who was first on the scene while I was giving CPR to Jaimee.  She came in and assisted me and together we finally were able to get a pulse on Jaimee.  I had only been thinking about finding her the previous day not knowing what her name was but wanting to thank her for what she had done for Jaimee, keeping me calm and how she kindly handled my boys in the aftermath.  Low and behold there she was at my door!  When she saw Jaimee she became very emotional.  In all the years she has been a Sheriff she has never had to give anyone CPR so this was quite emotional for her to see this little girl alive because she wasn't sure she would make it.  Thank you Janice Banks-we are bonded for life!  

Jaimee continues to show progress.  She tries holding a sippy cup and drinking by herself.  Her eye/hand coordination continues to improve.  At one time we suspected optical damage and now she can track across the room, hold your gaze, look into another room and smile at you.  We are amazed by how she demonstrates her will to heal herself.  She practically lifts half her body up to try and sit up in her bed.  She is saying more in just the last two days-lots of giddy squeals and laughter, along with more sounds that sound like words. We continue to pray for her body and mind to heal.  Just when Jeff and I start to feel down and out it's Jaimee's hearty laughter that brings us back to reality.  The boys are a big part of this as well.  They tickle her, help her pray like they did when she was a baby learning to talk.  They hold her drink for her, experiment making baby food for her and feed her until she spits at them and they all roll with laughter.  I remember one of the many hundreds of thoughts that pored through my mind while giving her CPR was that her brothers just couldn't live a life without her-she has to make it for them.  I see why now, they just adore her every move, her every sound, her every giggle and when she has a bad day, it's they who make her laugh another day.

Love to all,

Mardee 

 

5/21/09

I just had my awesome cousin leave me so I'm a little sad now since she fit right in with our little family and spoiled me rotten with her amazing energy and equally amazing cooking! Jeff and I actually got to go on several dates and recall what it is to be a couple again with time to laugh, talk, have picnic dinners (made by Kristin of course) and catch some movies. Thanks Kristin, you are the best and we could never repay you for what you have done for our family. Love you!!!

So now it's back to the grind although we are never without help these days from family and church family. What would we ever do without you!!! Such a blessing to our lives.

I know you are all dying to hear the updates on Jaimee, so here goes...she is getting better at holding her head up. She can hold her head up for about 10-15 seconds sitting on my lap or holding her up in her bed. Her back and hips are getting very strong, in fact she can lift her butt and back up so I can put on a diaper or clothes, so that helps since she is very tall and bigger than a baby which makes it sometimes awkward. She can also lift her head up and help pull herself up in her bed but she can't support herself yet. The stronger her neck and back gets the better for when she learns to crawl which by the way she is getting ready to do soon. When her stomach is properly bandaged she can roll on her tummy and is starting to find her hand/elbow strength for proping herself up and she can lift and turn her head for a few seconds. Soon after her G-tube is replaced with the Mickie or button tube then she should be able to more easily learn to start crawling. We do prop her on her knees and she does like to scoot forward. She can even stand on her feet and bare weight for about 20-30 seconds as I hold her and we rock back and forth practicing the feeling of standing. We hope her hand and leg coordination come back soon to help aid her in these processes of crawling/walking. Last Sunday I think, Jeff gave Jaimee a cup and helped her learn to drink from it which she did with some practice. In the last couple of days I have worked with her holding a sippy cup and drinking from it. She cannot hold anything yet but we keep practicing. She did learn after about 4 or 5 trys how to sip from the cup. I have been reducing her meds since she has more muscle control and less muscle spasms. After waking up with what looked like a hangover the other day I have now reduced the meds even more. So as she gets stronger she shows us how she is ready to move on. With all the progress we have much to be grateful for and yet I do have those days of lots of tears and sorrow as I see her trying to do things in her therapy appointments that she just can't do (for now). Seeing just how far she has to go and how many years this may take is daunting at times but it's the support and love and encouragement from all around that reminds us to be strong and faithful. I wish I could take this all away from her but she continues to show us just how strong she really is.

As school is tapering off and busy schedules slow down for the summer for all of you and your families we hope you have great plans to enjoy the great weather, take lots of pictures and videos, spend quiet moments together hugging and tickling eachother. We wished we had taken more videos of Jaimee and being the last kid it ended up being the last on "the list". Sometimes we far too often put the most important things at the bottom of the list and let the less important rise to the top of the list.

Love and hugs to all!

Mardee

Happy Nurses Week

I was asked to write a letter to the nursing staff at Northridge. I thought I would add it to this blog since they all enjoyed it so much. Happy Mother's Day and Nurses Week to all!

I never gave much thought to Nurses Week. I, like millions of others probably heard of it at one time or another or perhaps noticed it on a memo or from a 30 second news clip. I can honestly say I will never take for granted what this week means.

Simply said, to me, this honored week means my daughter is alive. Although Doctor Semnani might wonder why we aren’t celebrating Doctors Week then! =) (He knows exactly where he stands with us.)
This week represents not just careful attention to detail, stats and reports or dutifully administering medications or the quick changing of linens and garments, it represents the difference you make in the life of a family.
Our family has always believed in the importance of being an example of living an honorable life. If you make the difference in one life you have the potential to make the difference in many. The Nurses at Northridge Hospital have done just that.
All of you who took care of Jaimee didn’t just take care of her; you loved her. You didn’t just hope for her recovery; you prayed for it. You didn’t just treat her well; you treated her like she was your very own. You didn’t just do all that for Jaimee; you did it for all of us, her family- me, Jeff and our three boys, Nathan, Ben and J.D. The business and procedures of the hospital never interfered with your kindness and consideration for her or for our family. I never thought it possible but you actually made room 2219 our home-that and the nice patio outside, wink, wink! =)
In the morning hours you greeted us happily giving us hope for a new day, making sure we ate and took good care of ourselves. When the florescent lights dimmed at night and exhaustion set in you stayed up late working and talking with us and letting us just cry. You were strong and stalwart all throughout while we mourned what we may have lost, while we feared what could happen, you were there when we felt the sorrowful loss of little Matty next door, and rejoiced when Jaimee first smiled and recognized us. You were also there to say goodbye when we painfully had to leave, still unsure of the path that lay before us. You gave her gifts and visited her on your day off. You didn’t just do your job; you literally became a part of our little family. You opened those big white doors, took us in, and opened your arms and hearts to us. For all of that and more we love you, we love each and every one of you.
Born almost 189 years ago it was said of Florence Nightingale, “She is a ‘ministering angel’ without any exaggeration in these hospitals, and as her slender form glides quietly along each corridor, every poor fellow's face softens with gratitude at the sight of her. When all the medical officers have retired for the night and silence and darkness have settled down upon those miles of prostrate sick, she may be observed alone, with a little lamp in her hand, making her solitary rounds.[8]
Like Florence, you are angels going from room to room, patient to patient softening the hearts and minds of every family. Thank you for all that you do both seen and unseen.

With love and gratitude,

Mardee, Jeff, J.D., Ben, Nathan, and Jaimee Jessop
5/7/09

This week in just a matter of days we have seen great things happen. Each new day is a waiting surprise for us to see what our beautiful little girl will do and say. Today Jaimee got her hands raised above her shoulders and played with her hair. She also starting making sounds again, ba, da, pa, fa and kinda said "hi". The other day we could swear we heard her say "Hey!" Yeah- Go Jaimee =)

Finding a New Normal

After 5 weeks we finally arrived home from the hospital. We spent those weeks in anguish wondering what life had in store for our sweet Jaimee and our little family of 6. We knew that we had to find a new normal. We weren't getting back our vivacious, precocious little girl. What we did get came a surprise the day her eyes were open while on the ventilator and I sang her favorite song. She looked right at me and smiled the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. She has been smiling ever since. Her familiar Jaimee attitude and "Jaimee Looks" are still there although not as frequent which isn't exactly a bad thing. :) It's been wonderful to love her, kiss her, tickle her and have her eat up every moment.

Those who knew her well knew she wasn't a baby very long at all. She was always in a hurry to grow up, experience everything she could and to do it all on her own when and where she wanted. Now our normal seems in some ways to ironically be normal. Much like the normal of having a 5 month old baby. So as Jeff appropriately said one night to me while drowning in sorrowful tears, mourning the loss of what was, he exclaimed, "we now get our baby back." The boys get to dote on her which they love. They have learned so quickly to do it effortlessly and she adores them so much. She makes progress each day and we cheer her on just as you would when a baby learns a new "trick" for the first time.

There is so much joy and love how could we feel anything but blessed that a loving Heavenly Father allowed us to keep her a part of our family. Miracles really do happen and she is our miracle baby. We now get the chance to live life over again with Jaimee and watch her little personality and body develop and grow as much and as far as she is willing to take it.

We thank all of the hundreds and perhaps thousands of prayers that have been offered on Jaimee's and our behalf. We were amazed with the flood of responses from all regions and from all religions. Prayers were being offered internationally, from east coast to west. Her name was added to prayer roll after prayer roll in many, many temples. Prayer groups were notified immediately. Cell phones were ablaze, text messages were flying and the worldwide web of email and Facebook were bombarded with requests for prayer and fasting-because of that effort she is here. The Lord heard you-He heard all of us! And for that we thank you. We thank the Spotten's for coming to my rescue and caring for our boys in those initial and most difficult days, for loving them and protecting them as they went through interview after interview. We thank them along with the Bird's for taking control of our home and putting order back into a place of horrific chaos making our home welcoming to come back to despite what occurred here. We thank the Ibarra's, Sheryl and Kim for participating in that effort as well. We thank our wonderful and prayerful neighbors who protectively cared for our kids initially and watched out for our home. We thank the Thomas' for faithfully taking care of our dog and bird and loved them while we were away. We thank all those who visited us, who brought food and clothing to us, presents and cards and money for Jaimee-you all know who you are. We thank our ward family of Littlerock and those of our previous ward family who have and continue to volunteer to provide support and service in the most Christ like of ways. We thank our wonderful, loyal, and selfless family who dropped everything and came at all hours of every day to support us through the most difficult weeks of our life-this has been gut-wrenching for all of them. They each have suffered and mourned with us as well as our close friends have, more than I'm sure even we will know. Our family opened their hearts, their homes, their arms to our 3 boys and encircled them in love for 5 weeks while we tended to Jaimee. I can't thank them enough. Because of all of them my boys felt at peace, they were comforted when needed, they found times of great joy and fun and created lasting bonds with their cousins and for that I couldn't be more grateful for those tender mercies the Lord continues to provide even in dark days. I am amazed and humbled by the warmth we are surrounded in. Heavenly Father has living angels all around us and we literally feel how strong your faith is and feel your love for us.

I also want to add that everyone should take a CPR class. If it weren't for the Boy Scouts of America program at church offering the class only one month before this happened, I wouldn't have know what to do for my daughter. In the discharge report it says that the paramedics arrived and found a pulse where there wasn't one when I began the CPR. I was told by several medical professionals that we have Jaimee because of the CPR and that less than 1% of kids in her condition make it home but with CPR it's around 50%. Please take a class if you haven't had the chance. I never thought I'd need it but I thank the Lord I took it-it is what gave me the calm and confidence to respond to what needed to get done-saving Jaimee. Thank you Northridge Hospital Medical Center for having the care page site free for families it was a God-send and thank you again to the Spotten's for setting that up. Thank you to my friend's who have protected our privacy and family and for updating everyone as much as you could. For all of you wishing to keep up on Jaimee's progress we will be stopping the Care Page site soon and I will be updating my blog site and Facebook. So feel free to add me and/or Jeff as a friend on Facebook (Mardee Jessop/ Jeff Jessop), just put "Jaimee" in the comment line. We will still post pictures on FB and provide links to the blogsite- blogger.com Jessop's On The Go! I'm new to this so bare with me as I get adjusted and try to find the time among all my duties with Jaimee and family. Please feel free to call, stop by- just let us know ahead of time, or email me at mardeejessop@sbcglobal.com.

Lastly, I want to thank the most amazing medical staff at Northridge Hospital-you literally saved my daughter's life! Dr. Semnani has our respect, admiration and love forever. Whatever we can do to further his pursuits to making the pediatric ICU a trauma center we hope to help in that effort even if the California Government won't bother-I wouldn't want my child to be anywhere else-believe me, after being at Kaiser, there is a HUGE difference. It was divine intervention she ended up at Northridge which was the last place on the list she would go. The nurses, the respiratory therapists the entire staff assisting Jaimee were fantastic! The nurses have stayed there over 15 years for a reason-because there isn't anyone better than Dr. Semnani and we know it and understand it fully. God bless you all, you were incredible in every way. My daughter never received such devoted loving care than while at Northridge. We love you and will be a part of your lives for as long as you let us!

As we start this new phase of months if not years of physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, medical equipment and social services galore, we are adjusting to our new normal- just a loving, happy family enjoying each and every day God has given us knowing there isn't any pain we have suffered that the Lord hasn't already suffered on our behalf. By His grace He continues to allow us to find joy together in our normal everyday lives and for that we can only be grateful.

Love to you all,

Mardee